An Open Letter to the Blue Player


Dear Blue Player,

Listen, I’ve been meaning to say this for some time now, but I think everything has become a little messy between us all the last few weeks: I appreciate what you are doing and I think you should keep up the good work.  We’re never going to become great friends, however.

I know it’s not your fault, you have a plan that you wish to stick with and it’s lead you to this point.  Casting Delver and waiting for a Mana Leak, Thought Scour, or Vapor Snag has been effective and even economical.  I mean, these are cheap and potent cards that make your more expensive cards like Snapcaster Mage & Geist of Saint Traft more valuable and nasty.

But we just don’t trust you.  I have the heart of a green mage: I want to make creatures big and I want to attack with them.  Nevermind that I like playing with black and red cards, that will be my strategy in deck-building and in game.  Turn creatures sideways = win, right?

You may be doing the same things, too, I’ll admit, but it just doesn’t feel that way to us.  Something is always popping out when we least expect it, or you’re putting things back in our hands, or you’re filling your hand with cards we cannot see and know will screw us at the moment we least want to be screwed.

I really don’t like to see a Jace across the lines from me, no matter which form he’s taking, because he’s going to do something that feels dirty like drawing us both cards, rearranging your deck, or milling my deck into nothing, while at the same time padding your life total.  I don’t like seeing you splash for Gideon because he ruins my plans of fighting you fairly.

I don’t like the negativity of your counter spells.  No one else is playing counter spells, why should you?  The rest of us see a threat on the board, we go to deal with it with Doom Blades, Ancient Grudges, Beast Withins, and so on.  It doesn’t matter what the spell is(most of the time), but you can tell me “No sir, you cannot play that and you’re also wasting your turn unless you can pay me three more mana for that Thragtusk,” which you know I cannot do.  We stock our decks and sideboards with specific removal.

Removal?  “Ha!” says the blue player, “I’m have a Force of Will to counter that, and that, and THAT!!”

So, you see, your deck manipulation, your counter spells, and your general craftiness has done you well, but I just wanted to inform you that I don’t like it.  I don’t want any part of it, and I hope to smash over your spirit creature tokens and half-human/half-insect abominations very soon.



About recalcitrant041

Andrew Babcock has manifest destiny on his mind. The road west is paved with basketball, psychic dreams, passable egg-toast, Dungeons & Dragons, and haiku.

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