Fun with Verb and Noun

The council chambers shook with excited voices and the scuffling of chairs for several prolonged minutes until everyone found their seats and order was called.

Noun pushed his spectacles up to a comfortable position upon the bridge of his nose before striking the gavel.  “The Council will now come to session. We call forth the plaintiff, the defendant, and the witnesses to take their places.”

Chairs shuffled as council members and spectators changed positions.  When the hub-bub died down, Verb called out over the meeting in a clear, pinched voice.

“Adjective, you claim the defendant Adverb is responsible for the crimes of pushing, shoving, mayhem-causing, and general disobedience.  Do you have anything else to add?”

Adjective huffed his chest out and spoke in a loud voice, his words crass and brazen.  His claims were outlandish, yet concise and accurate in their detail.  Several members of the council looked awestruck or even blanched.  Falling over in his seat and crashing over into the aisle, a dangling participle fainted.

“And Adverb, how do you respond to these accusations?”  Verb asked.

“Loudly! Shrilly! Antagonistically!” Adverb shouted back at Adjective.  The plaintiff looked smug with a dash of coy.

“Do you have a specific response to the crimes for which you are accused here in this court?” Preposition asked as she leaned over the table towards the defendant.

Adverb glared at the council intensely, furiously bringing his hands to his sides, and showing his contempt unashamedly. “I declare enthusiastically that I am not warily responsible for these crimes, nor am I exactly certain this council has the power to ascertain their significance.  In fact-,”

“Oooh, I’m getting used!,” declared Hyphen from the back of the chambers.

“There will be no disruptions in this case.” Command glowered from the front of the room.

Adverb paused awkwardly, then began earnestly, “In fact, I have the right mind to forever quit this court’s proceedings, absolutely and positively,” he finished grudgingly.

A commotion exploded across the room.  Voices rose and cries of surprise echoed off the ceiling.  Every spectator had an opinion on the defendant’s position and yelled it out towards the council like angry kernels of popcorn erupting into a bowl.  The anger of their voices caused the pronouns to cry. Every he, she, and it ran to their mother and pressed wet faces into their skirts.

Command roared for silence and was obeyed.

“We have heard the defendant’s position.  Plaintiff, how does this fare with you?” Noun bit at a cuticle as he glanced Adjective’s way.

Adjective thought a moment.  His face betrayed a vast bevy of emotions.  He looked dispirited and sullen one moment, but transfigured into looks of deep, mindful thought and diplomatic grace.  His grin was sublime as he answered the council. “I accept!”

The chamber now erupted in applause. Two conjunctions leaned into a hug and a kiss, no longer separated by the commotion or chaos of the case, but now joined in bliss at the decision.

“We do hereby agree that Adverb is no longer bound to the rules and regulations of this blog and is free to dispense his usefulness elsewhere in the world and seek employment however he wish.”  Verb pronounced.

Noun coughed into a fist.  The room quieted, hanging on the elder’s words.  “You may go, Adverb.  We wish you much success, prosperity, and attainment on your journey into the free worlds of men, women, and animals.  Hopefully, you can find your place,” Noun winked.

Penny Arcade shows the fun usage of proper grammar…


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About recalcitrant041

Andrew Babcock has manifest destiny on his mind. The road west is paved with basketball, psychic dreams, passable egg-toast, Dungeons & Dragons, and haiku.

2 responses to “Fun with Verb and Noun”

  1. Lois Babcock says :

    Fix the word “adjourn” in the 2nd paragraph. It means to suspend or end. And you have a split infinitive “to forever quit.” Other than that, very cute and imaginative. I like Adverb!

  2. Mario Lurig says :

    I approve, in an outlandish manner.

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